All posts by Cole Emhoff

SONG OF THE DAY: Queen – Don’t Stop Me Now

This might be one of the most “feel-good” songs ever recorded… but don’t take my word for it:

Proof

(While the validity of this study is highly questionable, I still think it’s a pretty damn fun song)

 

 

Song of the Day: Flo and Eddie – Keep it Warm (Gucci Mane – Lemonade)

This popped up on my discovery weekly the other day. I was tearing it up on my bike on the way home when I heard these lyrics:

Write another song for the money

Something they can sing, not so funny

Money in the bank to keep us warm

Mmm… I like that

So after a little research, I discovered that this band, Flo and Eddie, used to be The Turtles (made famous by their late-60’s hit “Happy Together”). On their Wikipedia they’re described as a comedic duo, so take that as you will. To me, they sound like the beach boys (“I’m picking up good vibrations” featured in the song) and a bit like the Partridge Family.

Anyway, when I got home I put the song on again, so I could show my roommate. He recognized it, but a different version…

After a quick trip to whosampled I figured it out…

and it’s amazing.

Please skip to 1:15 for glory.

Song of the Day: Ituana – Smells Like Teen Spirit

Why the frick can’t I stop listening to this song? There’s so much to hate! The song is part of a compilation, which is part of an even bigger “Bossa Nova Cover” compilation. This one focuses on 90’s songs. Most of it sucks.

Just look at the freaking album cover! It reeks of shittyness.

And then check out that description:

“the coolest and sexiest songbook of the nighties”

The coolest? ya… no.

The sexiest? Hmm… yes?

I love this song. I gotta admit it – good female jazz vocalists are my shit. She sounds so… sexy… like she’s whispering in my ear “load up on guns, bring your friends” Mmm…

And the song choice! They turned the song on it’s head.

Instead of a “YAHHHH!!!

It’s a (whisper) “yahhhhh

And i’m like ¯\_(°–°)_/¯ 

 

SONG OF THE DAY: CAETANO VELOSO – “Cucurrucucu Paloma”

This song popped up on my discovery weekly (as does most of the music I listen to atm). I’m a big Bossa Nova fan, so I’d heard of Caetano Veloso before. I listened to the song, and I loved it…           Big whoop!

But here’s where things get interesting…

The day after I heard the song I decided to check out a Pedro Almodóvar film called Talk to Me (Habla Con Ella). About 1/3rd of the way through the movie, Caetano Veloso APPEARS AND PLAYS THE SONG!

spooky

Anyways… the song is great. The movie is great. I am great.

Cucurrucucú, Paloma, don’t cry anymore…

Deep Cuts: Lene Alexandra

 

Welcome to Deep Cuts! My name is cole, and for the remainder of this article I want you to think of me as your tour guide… or Sherpa into the amazing, mystical, and often dangerous world of music! I guess we should get right to it then. Hope you’re ready 😀


 

You may not know this about me, but… well… I’m not very good with women. It feels like I just don’t understand them! What do they like? Why do they smell so good? AHHH I don’t get it! This confusion, coupled with debilitating social anxiety, doesn’t leave many ways to gain… experience… so I’m left with two things: porn (I’ve learned everything I know about women from porn) and music.

Music! It’s like a window into someone’s soul, which is why I like to listen to the music of the female sex.

So why don’t we check out one of my fav’s,  Lene Alexandra! Also known as  Miss Boobs, Lene was a serious chart topper in Norway. Now she’s a mega hot body builder! Anyways, here’s Lene Alexandra’s My Boob’s Are OK.

As you hit play, I’m sure you were amazed by that killer beat. Whoa! Those rhythms sure got my head bumpin. Damn! But it doesn’t stop there. You see, once you get over those sick beats, you gotta really take a second and check the lyrics. Like I was saying earlier, if you’re like me, and don’t know women very well, just read this shit! I mean WOW! That’s what I like to call flowetry (flow + poetry). If you really pay attention, you’ll see that these lyrics just highlight the unbelievable pressure that growing women face everyday. These are lyrics that every girl around the world should shake it to!

My boobs, my boobs

My boobs are ok

Talk about self-acceptance! Now pay attention to the second verse…

I keep my religion in a Gucci purse

Oh my god, I just forgot the rest of this verse

Who cares? I never passed junior high

It was so hard!

So what?

(Chorus)

My boobs, my boobs

My boobs are ok

I mean like, COME ON! She’s such a dynamic character. At first she struggles with religion and her intelligence, and then she realizes that the most important thing is really just the way she looks! If she’s got big bazongas, then what else matters? I mean… everything I’ve learned from porn seems to back this up. Everything is about sex!

Which brings us to her next song.

 

I’m very lonely 🙁

So sometimes I like to wallow in it, you know? I’ll get into a mood where all I want to listen to is Elliot Smith or the Cure… Well now I’ve got another chick to add to that list! Check these lines…

do you know the feeling when you

just really need a bang ?

do you know the feeling when you

need much more than your hand ?

do you know the feeling when you

want it so much ?

do you know the feeling when you

need to be touched ?

This shit is like straight outta my diary! What the heck Lene! How do you know my pain? When I heard these lyrics:

do you know the feeling when you

need much more than your hand ?

I was like, “YES! EVERY FUCKING DAY SINCE I WAS 11!!!”

God, I want you Lene.

Please, Please, Please…

let me get what I want!

I want to lick your sticky muscles

Lene

^ that’s her 😉