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Deep Cuts: Lene Alexandra

 

Welcome to Deep Cuts! My name is cole, and for the remainder of this article I want you to think of me as your tour guide… or Sherpa into the amazing, mystical, and often dangerous world of music! I guess we should get right to it then. Hope you’re ready 😀


 

You may not know this about me, but… well… I’m not very good with women. It feels like I just don’t understand them! What do they like? Why do they smell so good? AHHH I don’t get it! This confusion, coupled with debilitating social anxiety, doesn’t leave many ways to gain… experience… so I’m left with two things: porn (I’ve learned everything I know about women from porn) and music.

Music! It’s like a window into someone’s soul, which is why I like to listen to the music of the female sex.

So why don’t we check out one of my fav’s,  Lene Alexandra! Also known as  Miss Boobs, Lene was a serious chart topper in Norway. Now she’s a mega hot body builder! Anyways, here’s Lene Alexandra’s My Boob’s Are OK.

As you hit play, I’m sure you were amazed by that killer beat. Whoa! Those rhythms sure got my head bumpin. Damn! But it doesn’t stop there. You see, once you get over those sick beats, you gotta really take a second and check the lyrics. Like I was saying earlier, if you’re like me, and don’t know women very well, just read this shit! I mean WOW! That’s what I like to call flowetry (flow + poetry). If you really pay attention, you’ll see that these lyrics just highlight the unbelievable pressure that growing women face everyday. These are lyrics that every girl around the world should shake it to!

My boobs, my boobs

My boobs are ok

Talk about self-acceptance! Now pay attention to the second verse…

I keep my religion in a Gucci purse

Oh my god, I just forgot the rest of this verse

Who cares? I never passed junior high

It was so hard!

So what?

(Chorus)

My boobs, my boobs

My boobs are ok

I mean like, COME ON! She’s such a dynamic character. At first she struggles with religion and her intelligence, and then she realizes that the most important thing is really just the way she looks! If she’s got big bazongas, then what else matters? I mean… everything I’ve learned from porn seems to back this up. Everything is about sex!

Which brings us to her next song.

 

I’m very lonely 🙁

So sometimes I like to wallow in it, you know? I’ll get into a mood where all I want to listen to is Elliot Smith or the Cure… Well now I’ve got another chick to add to that list! Check these lines…

do you know the feeling when you

just really need a bang ?

do you know the feeling when you

need much more than your hand ?

do you know the feeling when you

want it so much ?

do you know the feeling when you

need to be touched ?

This shit is like straight outta my diary! What the heck Lene! How do you know my pain? When I heard these lyrics:

do you know the feeling when you

need much more than your hand ?

I was like, “YES! EVERY FUCKING DAY SINCE I WAS 11!!!”

God, I want you Lene.

Please, Please, Please…

let me get what I want!

I want to lick your sticky muscles

Lene

^ that’s her 😉

SONG OF THE DAY: Glasser — “T”

| plaintive-yet-hopeful |

From her latest, Ring, out now on True Panther Sounds (2010).